Use it or lose it.

So, when I was younger and was going through a very rocky time, my outlet was art. It literally saved my life.
My sketch book was like my diary. All my feelings were poured in to it. Everythought in my brain was put on the paper.

All day Ive been wanting to paint. Its like a craving. I NEED it.
I have no canvas and no paper strong enough to handle acrylic paint.
All the craft stores in this wretched town are closed on Sundays.
I settled for drawing and broke out my Prismacolors.

I drew and drew and drew and drew and drew....and it turned out crap.
I want to rip up the drawings. They are just awful.
I used to be good. I used to be talented.

Its the curse of many artists, when youre depressed and things are going wrong, you can paint, sculpt, sing, write, whatever, all day long. When youre happy, there is no inspiration.
I spent the past 5 years happy. Painting and drawing fell to the side.
Kael, my dogs, my house, my friends became my inspiration and my art.
Now I need my outlet. I need to draw, and Ive lost the talent I used to have.
I lost the ability to see it in my mind and put it on paper, or canvas, or plaster, or whatever. Its gone.

Drawing used to be therapy, now it is torture. I draw, then pull it back and look at it, and its shit! Complete shit!
The only thing I was ever good at is gone now. Now when I really, desperately need it.