First REAL Post

Ok, so...I made this thing so I can get infertility stuff off my mind, right? Well here goes:

Yesterday I finally went to the doctor. There arent many doctors in this town that even deal with infertility, so I had to go to a regular ob-gyn clinic. Ive been nervous for over a week about going. I hate doctors. I generally dont trust them. And I had a slightly traumatic experience with I was a teen, so going to have my privates looked at makes me even more nervous.

The waiting room didnt make me feel any better. The receptionist was nice and the check in was quick, but while I was waiting a young girl with braided pigtails came in with her equally young friend. I almost gasped out loud when I saw the obvious baby bump under her tank top. She told the receptionist nonchalantly that she was having an ultrasound in 2 weeks, but was wondering if she could do it earlier because she "had been hit" and was having some cramping and spotting. The girl was 17. What does "I had been hit" mean? Did she bump in to something? did someone punch her? Was she in PE class and got hit with a soccer ball? Was she in a car accident?
And of course the normal stuff popped in to my head. How is it that this kid could get pregnant and I cant. How can this child be on the verge of being a mother, and I can't have a baby with my husband?
So, I tried to ignore that, when another young girl, probably about 18, walked in with a new born. I almost cried right there. Then 2 women came in, about my age maybe a couple years younger. One was at least 8 months along, and the other was just barely showing. The less pregnant one jabbered on while the other just nodded occasionally. She griped about how she cant go out and party any more because of "this stupid thing". How she felt like sleeping all the time and didnt have time to go out with all the guys she knew because "he just had to knock [her] up". I wanted to punch them all and then have a good cry.

It felt like an eternity before they called me back, even though it was just 10 minutes.
Once they called me back, it wasnt that bad. I was expecting to get griped at for my weight (after all, when you see 226 lbs on a chart, you assume "oh, she's obese", right?) but no one said anything. The nurse just said "ok, 226. Good" as she was writing it in her chart, the doc never mentioned it.

The doctor talked to Kael and me, rather than just me. I liked that. She was very understanding with my fear of being examined, and even offered to put it off a few days and write me an Rx for valium before I came in. I ended up not needing it, though and did fine through the exam and pap.

She explained everything, and even when I understood something, but Kael didnt she explained it to him.

So, here's the plan:
Im going to get blood work done to test for thyroid and prolactin problems. If that comes back normal, then we start on either Clomid or Metformin for a few months. If that still doesnt work, then we start looking for the scary stuff like PCOS, Endo, etc and start doing S/As and such.

Im a bit nervous, but I feel so much better. Its like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was so worried that I would go to the doctor and they'd say "Lose 20 lbs then come back." (Ive tried to lose 20 lbs, I cant. It just doesnt happen) or that they'd say "Eh, try for a couple more months then come back".

So, in a week and a half I have another appt to see how the blood work went.
Hopefully in a week and a half I will be saying either "They found the problem and its easy to fix!" or "Im starting Clomid!"

*fingers crossed*